OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
