We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
