just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize