Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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