return my video game
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize