I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My vagina is officially offended.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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