Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
