so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
