After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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