I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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