I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am spending my child support on dildos
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
love makes seman taste better
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
