it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
