Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
