I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
