hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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