I wish you could order shots online.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
