only you would photoshop your dick
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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