There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
