I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
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