Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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