I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
