My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
