he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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