Quick, to the slutcave!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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