Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
