i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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