i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
