she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
