let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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