Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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