why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
