Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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