exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
