My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
