in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
