i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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