I just made out with a guy for $7.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
