your thong is hanging out like whoa
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
