i don't like sucking hair
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
