Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
