I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
