Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
