so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
