Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
