The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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