do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
zippers are such a cool invention
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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