when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
