If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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