I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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