i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
