Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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