The maid of honor just puked.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
