some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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