What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
