I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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