So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
