my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
